Disappointments open up new opportunities

Yesterday a bomb dropped in my lap. I was "let go" of a casual childcare job because of my mental health status. I know this is illegal. But it happens all the same. It's hard enough facing the day, knowing the challenges that wait for you, so it makes it that much harder to not think that as a person living with a mental health issue that I am not valuable enough to care for a couple kids. I have education and experience, and almost every time I go for a job interview, I have to think about how to answer questions like, "why are you only looking for part time employment," or "why aren't you employed already?" Is it really the employers business to know such things? Does it make me a better employee in the position I am applying for? If its not my mental health status, its my age, or weight. Who wants a single woman over 40 caring for children, only 15 hours a week? Not very many people, honestly. All I want to do is be a productive part of my community, and make a decent wage doing it. What's sad about this all, is that there are well educated people out there that actually believe people like me don't deserve what I am searching for. Sitting at home, watching movies and TV shows, eating food is not my idea of a good life. I am a human being, and deserve to share my talents with the world around me. Yesterday was a disappointment. It's not going to stop me from seeking new opportunities of employment where I will be treated fairly, and welcomed into the working community. It's just too bad that some people choose to live their lives thinking less of people like me.

The right fit

For the longest time I believed that I didn't fit in... anywhere. My clothes didn't fit, because I was overweight and tall. My glasses didn't fit because my nose was too narrow. I didn't fit in socially because I was quiet, reserved, shy. I longed to fit in, for such a long time. But even when I tried to fit in, I stood out. I wasn't being true to who I was, probably because I really didn't know myself and what I did know of myself was scary and unpredictable. Fast forward to now. I still don't fit in everywhere. Guess what, that's okay. Actually, that is more than okay... It's great. Now I don't have to second guess myself, compromise who I am, or live a life of mediocrity. I have found places where I do belong. Friends who challenge me to be the best I can be, accept me for who I am, and celebrate each victory that comes my way. I have found clothes that fit, glasses that fit, and a voice that shares good news, and fights for fairness. In other words, I found me.

Passing judgement

Judgement. The older I get the more I hate that word. I get passed by, judged, and dismissed all the time. I have become accustomed to it. Funny thing though, it doesn't stop me from reaching for my life goals. Some people have looked at me and have seen a lazy/fat person. Others, an old person, a tall person, or a person with a disability. The funny thing is, that I am those things, except lazy. None of these things stops me though. I still get up everyday, feed myself, take care of myself, go after my dreams and goals one step at a time, and love the people around me. It is unfair when people allow their judgements to keep me out of being a part of community though. But I'm not the one missing out... they are. They are missing out on knowing me better, and that is what's saddest of all. I have lots to offer, just like the next person. Just like you do. Whether or not people accept others, that is up to them. I just wish that judging others didn't have to be a part of it.

Welcome, 2019.

Christmas and New Years came and went, and here I am, plugging through life as best I can. With every possibility to a new adventure, I become more and more aware of reality. I want to be the best I can be, but I also want to have the most success too. When I make a list of things to do, to keep searching for a better life, I tend to pick too many things to do. Then, I eventually give up because I get so overwhelmed with all the little and numerous steps needed to succeed. So, this year, I am focusing on one thing this year. Health. With confidence, I will choose what small steps I can make in one area. Simplifying this aspect of my life will allow me to grow in one area after another. To help me, I am going tomorrow to get a journal to write out my plan, stay organized, and focused, and begin the year on a good note. Too much of all these small steps in life get way to big in my life. I have found that when I simplify what needs to be done, I am a lot more successful.

Hello all

Everywhere I go there is a magazine, commercial, or ad somewhere about eating right, being healthy, losing weight, and whatever is the going trend of health these days. I have to admit, it gets so overwhelming, that some days I don't even want to get out of bed because I think others will judge me for my less than healthy figure. I get it. Its good to exercise, eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and get plenty of sleep. What some people may not realize is that I am trying. Those 16 pounds that I lost in the spring and early summer was a triumph for me. I planned my meals, exercised daily, and managed my sleep well. Even with that success, I am still overweight. People forget that its the small steps that count. When I choose to do something good for myself, even something very small, I feel like doing a victory/happy dance. And why should I feel any different? Success needs to be celebrated. So, I look forward to sharing my life here, and all the adventures that I experience along the way. I hope you will come join me and learn some things that can help you too.